You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
