yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize