I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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