I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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