But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
