Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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