Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
