8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sex in the backyard? Check.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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