Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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