Christians are straight up FREAKS
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
