Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
