I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
