do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
