Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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