what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
