let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
