ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
