Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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