just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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