I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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