if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
