loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
