Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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