she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize