So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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