It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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