can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
