Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
