shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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