U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
