fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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