And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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