I think my vagina is haunted
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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