WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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