This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
