i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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