Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize