you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
