We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
