great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just google imaged poop.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You need a sexual gate keeper
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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