Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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