The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
