i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize