I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
