Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
