did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just invented taco cereal.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
