we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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