where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
