i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
