Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We left an ass print on the piano.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
