dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
