So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize