I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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