I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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