May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
