Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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