very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
