Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
