One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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