Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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