i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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