Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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