im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
