It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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