i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
