He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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