New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
