Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
